Luziana Fats'
Euchre Page
Luziana Fats' Euchre Page
RENOWND EUCHRE EXPERT!
Yahoo! Id: luziana_fats
Real Name: Gus Breaux
Location: New Awlins
Age: 69
Marital Status: Married but looking
Gender: Male
Occupation: politician / hustler
Hobbies: Drinkin' fine wine ( like that Mogan David and Thunderbird), smokin' fine reefer and playin' fine euchre.
Feature Story : " The Mississippi Mudpile"
I distinctly remember a "joint session" one time when me and the boys got us a little euchre game goin' on in the conference room.
Me and my partner, "White" Bubba, were down 6 to 5 in a double or nothing cash money game. The opponent to my right dealt me what I like to call a "Mississippi Mudpile"
Now, a Mississippi Mudpile is not a specific hand really, it is simply a worthless pile of rags that won't likely take a single trick. More of a "foot" than a hand.
The cards I had were at least four suited and all bottom feeders. There was only a 9 of the suit that was turned up.
I was about to pass when I glanced over at White Bubba and noticed the sorry-assed look he gave his cards. He didn't have "jack"-shit either!
"What 'cha gonna do?" asked the dealer. That som' bitch was acting rather anxious for us to get the game movin'. I didn't know what he had, but I knew for sure, whatever it was, I couldn't stop it.
"Pick it up" I said, before I could change my mind.
"Pick it up?" he asked and stopped smiling.
A bewildered look came over his face.
"Yeah...". There was another uncomfortable pause.
Everyone at the table looked at their hands for a second time and wondered what in the hell I was doing. He picked it up and slowly discarded one without saying another word. The silence was broken by the creak of my partner's chair.
"Ok, my lead, right?", I questioned, wading through my cards as though I had some sort of choice that was actually going to make a difference.
" Wait a minute.............. what is trump, exactly?!!!" I finally had to ask. Their silence errupted into laughter.
After my opening lead of (?)... I don't remember what it was actually. Who cares, it didn't matter anyway! The opponents set loose a barrage of bowers. Aces of all colors after that. The final trick was won by some off-suit queen, tossed in like the piece of shit it is (still mad at that damn queen). Couldn't answer. My team's pathetic nines couldn't even follow suit. Two points for the bad guys.
Our opponents celebrated the euchre with lots of revelry, high-fives and in-your-face gestures to boot (plus something that looked strange; the wave / macareena (?) / gay porn).
As they were marking up their two points, I looked over at White Bubba. The sad and confused look on his face made me realize that he really had no idea of what I had just done.
You see, I had reason to believe that the dealer had a loner from the get go, and I was absolutely right. His persistence for me to make a decision during bidding, the lack of strong cards in my hand, multiplied by the empty handed expression on my partner's face (a tell), compounded by the score ( our opponents only needed a loner to end the game) gave me no choice but to order up trump with a losing hand. It prevented them from making a loner and end the game with a four point score. I let them have two points instead.
The next deal was mine, a loner that put us back in the game. The hand after that clinched it, although that one is another story in itself altogether... FATS '02
The
"Mississippi
Mudpile"
What would you do with a hand like this?.
Tips from the Fats:
- If your opponents have six or seven points and the deal, and you haven't a chance for a stopper, you might be better off giving up 2 points by ordering them up, rather than letting them go alone, score four and win the game. Top
Cocktail of the week
Most euchre players like to have a cocktail or two (or many more) while playin', so I thought
it might be alright to share some of New Awlin's genius mixology with y'all.
Skylab Fallout
1 oz 190 proof alcohol 1 oz orange juice
1 oz Blue Curacao 1 oz pinapple juice
1 oz 151 proof Rum 1 oz Collins mix
1/2 oz Apricot Brandy
Stir well. Serve in Vino glass. Garnish with a sprig of mint.
Fats' Comments: Just 9 or 10 of these som' bitches and you'll be ordering up the Mississippi mudpile alone all night! Top
Rules to Bourre
(pronounced: Boo-Ray)
This game played in Southern Louisiana might be the missing link to the euchre family. John Scarne (a card expert and historian of the early-mid 1900's) believed that euchre originated there (although I personally doubt it). It is definately a descendant of the Triomphe family of card games however.
Players: 2 to 7
Deck : 52 card poker deck
All players ante up. Everyone is alternately dealt 5 cards. The dealer then turns one up. The upcard is automatically trump. Starting with the first player left of dealer, everyone is given the option of staying in and doubling their ante or folding and submitting their first bet to the pot.
There is then a round much like draw poker. Each player starting left of dealer who is still in can discard 1-5 cards in their hand face down and receive the same amount of new cards from the dealer.
Play starts left of dealer. Players that hold the queen, king or ace of trump must play them as soon as they legally can. If you can not follow suit, but you do hold trump, you must play it. The player who takes the trick leads the next one.
Player with the most tricks win the pot, ties split.
Here's the rough part;
Players who stayed in but did not take even a single trick are considered bourred (boo-rayed) and must match the total amount of the pot paid to the winner/s. This money goes into the next one in addition to the ante.
- A 25 cent Bourre game could cost you $40 or more in a hurry and a $1 game could part you from your rent money!
This game is a rugged gambling battle not intended for the weak at heart! Top
Tips From the Fats;
this issue:
